Spilling it again

Some experiences are not meant to be just experiences; in fact they must never be ‘just an experience’ at all.

At times I need participation, little of it may be but being a part of it takes the matter to entirely new league. Love to me is never blind; it is an eye opener. May be my eyes open to see another pair of eyes and I keep guessing as what it may hold for me today. I like to see a smile that lights up the moment and feels like I can carry them all along with me. It is not the words that I hear but the sound that keeps humming within with a note as calm as silence and may be a hug that makes me wonder if I can freeze the moment. And what I wish is not just an experience of all this but something that breathes with me as I live.

For me mind and heart had always been in sync; but they had naughtily never stopped playing games with me. They keep giggling at me at my stupidities but I never feel bad about it. They have now known me for some time and do not make any attempt to prevent me from doing fresh stupidities. My friends call them illogical. But within I know I neither follow my heart nor my mind, I just be there in the moment to experience the feeling, but I must confess that there are also times when I wish these experiences be never ending.

When I close my eyes to retire for the day an automated mechanism flashes the entire day in front of my eyes, there are some thoughts too, like fill in the blanks which pops up in the mind and I neglect them because I know the answers but better feel that they must be empty. The reason is simple, I know where they all lead to and I don’t want them to go, I want them to come back the next night (unfailingly I will not answer them again). Once I answer them that will not come back and then I would tell myself that it was a sweet experience and that is what I exactly don’t want to do.